As usual, I've gotten behind on my blog. I guess the act of writing, especially about traveling, makes me want...more. When I'm writing, I long to learn, to experience, to grow, to have adventures...and over this past year I was living a life where those thoughts were a bit...dangerous isn't exactly the right word. Well, thinking too much about traveling, writing, learning, having adventures made me dissatisfied with the life I was living. It was easier to just not think about those things as I tried to be "normal" and settle in to small-town life. So I focused my mind on other things, because the days I spent listening to travel podcasts or researching destinations made me feel like a traitor to this life I thought I wanted.
In the end, the dissatisfaction with that life won out. I don't want to have to avoid what makes me happy, what makes me feel alive, what makes me feel like I'm developing myself as a person, just to be relatively contented in a life that I'm told is "normal" and that everyone around me is happy with. And so I've left that life, and although I hate that it hurt the person I shared that life with, I can look to the future with excitement again. I'm still staying in middle Tennessee for a while; I've got a (broken down, unfortunately) car to pay off, a new job, and some life-organizing to do, and besides, I need to save up some money. But I'm planning. I'm dreaming. I'm living my life again, instead of tagging along on someone else's.
And so, I decided it was time to revive this blog. I've got so many stories I've never told, and now I know there will be stories ahead to tell as well.
In the end, the dissatisfaction with that life won out. I don't want to have to avoid what makes me happy, what makes me feel alive, what makes me feel like I'm developing myself as a person, just to be relatively contented in a life that I'm told is "normal" and that everyone around me is happy with. And so I've left that life, and although I hate that it hurt the person I shared that life with, I can look to the future with excitement again. I'm still staying in middle Tennessee for a while; I've got a (broken down, unfortunately) car to pay off, a new job, and some life-organizing to do, and besides, I need to save up some money. But I'm planning. I'm dreaming. I'm living my life again, instead of tagging along on someone else's.
And so, I decided it was time to revive this blog. I've got so many stories I've never told, and now I know there will be stories ahead to tell as well.
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